Saturday, 20 January 2018

A bit of Humour

A bit of humour to lighten your day, especially my readers 'of a certain age'!



Today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings you in today?"
I looked at her, and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator.” She didn't quite know how to respond.
I decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it 'Pumping Rust.'
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, “No, it's for company!”
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, ‘An ambulance.'
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ' The' and ' IRS ' together it spells 'Theirs...'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. This one is me. 70-1/2.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't
paved.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
May you always have Love to Share, Cash to Spare, And Friends who
Care.

3 comments:

  1. You crack me up. I am just a child, at 63. Although I often FEEL much older. Thank God for a sense of humor. It is a precious gift.


    Karl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, Karl, my problem is that whilst my body knows it's 70 and a half, and sometimes thinks it's 90 and a half, my mind keeps trying to convince it that it's 20 and a half!

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    2. Really enjoyed this--Thank you

      Delete

Comments are subject to deletion if they are not germane. I have no problem with a bit of colourful language, but blasphemy or depraved profanity will not be allowed. Attacks on the Catholic Faith will not be tolerated. Comments will be deleted that are republican (Yanks! Note the lower case 'r'!), attacks on the legitimacy of Pope Francis as the Vicar of Christ (I know he's a material heretic and a Protector of Perverts, and I definitely want him gone yesterday! However, he is Pope, and I pray for him every day.), the legitimacy of the House of Windsor or of the claims of the Elder Line of the House of France, or attacks on the legitimacy of any of the currently ruling Houses of Europe.