31 August 2018

Brown University Department Of Truth Begins Burning Bigoted Biology Textbooks

This satire, but I wonder for how much longer?

From the Babylon Bee


PROVIDENCE, RI—Personnel working at the newly formed “Department of Truth” at Brown University dutifully loaded up the official department furnace with a massive pile of science textbooks, curriculum, and educational videos that teach that boys are boys and girls are girls.

The order to burn the material came down after transgender activists protested Brown’s recent study suggesting that some teens may identify as transgender partially due to peer pressure. The transgender lobby then discovered that the curriculum in Brown’s biology department still had several references to biological gender “as though it were some kind of scientific fact.” Brown quickly formed its new Department of Truth in response to the protests.

“Hold the door Hank, one more batch to go,” a worker was heard calling out to a furnace attendant as he brought in a large pile of outdated PBS documentaries from a few years back. “We still gotta go through last year’s textbooks. I think most of them are getting torched.”

After all material that suggested people are born as one of two genders was loaded up into the massive furnace, the large heat-proof door was closed, forever protecting the world from the outdated truth that there are only two objective genders.

Setting the furnace to exactly 451 degrees Fahrenheit, workers at the department then reportedly slapped a large red button labeled “BURN” and vaporized the textbooks and other materials out of existence. “It was a pleasure to burn,” one worker said.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments are subject to deletion if they are not germane. I have no problem with a bit of colourful language, but blasphemy or depraved profanity will not be allowed. Attacks on the Catholic Faith will not be tolerated. Comments will be deleted that are republican (Yanks! Note the lower case 'r'!), attacks on the legitimacy of Pope Francis as the Vicar of Christ (I know he's a material heretic and a Protector of Perverts, and I definitely want him gone yesterday! However, he is Pope, and I pray for him every day.), the legitimacy of the House of Windsor or of the claims of the Elder Line of the House of France, or attacks on the legitimacy of any of the currently ruling Houses of Europe.