30 September 2022

/Satire/ The Synod To End All Synods /satire/

Eccles brings his satirical humour for a look at the latest antics of the 'Synod on Synodality' or as I call it, the Sin-od on Sin-odality.

From Eccles is Saved

Yes, it's the synod to end all synods. A small group of specially-chosen "experts" is going through all the reports received from people who felt they needed a good moan about the Catholic Church. Do we want gender-fluid bishops? A new Bible with all the embarrassing bits about sin removed? The canonization of George Floyd? Embezzlement to be no longer a sin? Well, Francis is favourable to most of these, so we just have to find a way of changing Catholic teaching without too much of a revolt (cf. Amoris Laetitia)

The experts have to be fit. Here they are seen doing 
exercise number 666 in the Bishop 
Barron Weightwatchers Guide.

Show and tell! As a bonding exercise, the experts are encouraged to bring items that mean something to them - portraits of their family, idols, bottles of port, etc. - to share with the other experts.

Our resident psychiatrist, Dr Spotda Luni, remarks "These graffiti, produced by a disturbed teenager in the Church of Bedlam synodal group, show severe signs of schizophrenia. Is the patient for or against fidelity, intolerance, deep why care (whatever that may be), and abuse? Is it just a long nightmare, or were drugs involved? We doctors find that encouraging nutters (apologies for using a technical term) to do brain dumps like this can help them to become more accepted by society.

Finally, Austen Ivereigh leads the experts in a dance to celebrate the fact that their work is over and the Catholic Church is now indistinguishable from the Church of England.

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Comments are subject to deletion if they are not germane. I have no problem with a bit of colourful language, but blasphemy or depraved profanity will not be allowed. Attacks on the Catholic Faith will not be tolerated. Comments will be deleted that are republican (Yanks! Note the lower case 'r'!), attacks on the legitimacy of Pope Francis as the Vicar of Christ (I know he's a material heretic and a Protector of Perverts, and I definitely want him gone yesterday! However, he is Pope, and I pray for him every day.), the legitimacy of the House of Windsor or of the claims of the Elder Line of the House of France, or attacks on the legitimacy of any of the currently ruling Houses of Europe.