Shedding Light on the Mysterious Mysteries: Understanding the Novus Ordo Rosariae

Jim is a friend of mine. He wrote this for All Fools Day, 2003, shortly after John Paul II issued Rosarium Virginis Mariae, introducing the so-called 'Luminous Mysteries' of the Rosary.

By Jim De Piante, April, 2003 

Or, an Evening with “Catholic” Friends 

Imagine with me, if you will, that it’s a fine Thursday evening, and your family is visiting with another Catholic family. It’s getting late and it will soon be time to leave. Your host suggests that you all say the Rosary together, as you have done many times in the past. 

These friends of yours haven’t quite gotten on board with tradition yet – they are ostensibly “staunchly conservative Catholics” who “support the Pope” and who want to “obey the local Bishop.” They get “The Wanderer” and they watch EWTN. They are “sincere”. You and they certainly have your differences. But never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common, and you’re all too happy to end the evening saying the Rosary with them. It’s certainly bound to be better than saying it in the car on the way home. 

You, your spouse, and your children all retrieve your rosary beads from purses and pockets and kneel down, ready to begin. You wince as you recall that your host’s teenage daughter, president of the parish youth group, who is “really into her religion” doesn’t kneel and fold her hands to pray (as you have taught your children). Rather, she stands, and prays with her arms outstretched. But never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common… 

Strangely, the others do not kneel either. They sit, she stands, and you and yours kneel. It’s awkward, but never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common… 

And so you begin: “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy SpiritGhost. Amen.” Oh, yes, you recall. There’s that awkward thing that happens 8 times whenever you and they say the Rosary together: Everyone in your family says “Holy Ghost”, and everyone in their family simultaneously says “Holy Spirit.” But never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common… 

The intentions are always a bit awkward as well. Your hosts all take turns, declaring their intention to pray for all manner of things. In particular, you observe that their teenage daughter (president of the parish youth group, who is “really into her religion”) inclines toward intentions that are political in nature. There is no mention of “the conversion of Russia” though, so you make that intention to yourself. You feel a bit uneasy, but never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common… 

Having gotten past the intentions, you and your family begin to recite the Apostle’s Creed. Amidst a great deal of confusion, you stop short, realizing that your host family members are all reading from a piece of paper some prayer that seems to resemble one of the Psalms. One by one, the rest of your family stops praying as your hosts proudly recite their psalm-like prayer. It’s all a bit confusing, but never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common… 

Having recited the Apostle’s Creed quietly to yourself, you prepare for the Our Father. That goes well, until the very end, when the 4 members of your host family all abruptly stop after saying, “… but deliver us from evil.” This is apparently a habit they have picked up from the Novus Ordo Missae. You and yours finish the prayer for them by saying, “Amen.” Your uneasiness becomes more pronounced. But never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common… 

Mercifully, you pass through the 3 Hail Marys without incident. Your uneasiness begins to abate – that is, until you notice that the president of the parish youth group has retrieved her guitar – a 12 string model, complete with capo and very wide neck strap. You say to yourself, “Saints preserve us.” The strumming begins. Their teenage son starts to squirm. The daughter sings, “Glory be, glory be, everybody sing glory be…” in a composition of her own that is vaguely reminiscent of the famous Novus Ordo hit of the 70’s built around three fourths of a word, namely, “Alleloo…” You think to yourself, “It cannot get any worse. The antics will soon stop, and we will be able to pray.” Your hosts seem quite pleased with things so far, apparently unaware of your uneasiness. It’s all so very awkward. But never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common… 

The time has come to announce the first mystery. You try to recollect yourself, and you form a mental image of the Blessed Virgin at prayer. You prepare yourself to meditate on the Annunciation. Your concentration is broken, however, when their teenage daughter (president of the parish youth group) goes over to the bookshelf and picks something up and holds it up for viewing. It’s a framed line drawing, something of the genre, Positively Ugly Novus Ordo Art. It seems somehow to represent the baptism of Our Lord. The head of the household says with a certain bravado, “The first luminous mystery, the baptism in the Jordan.” Your children squirm. You feel like squirming. Your oldest son, in his teens, raises an eyebrow and glances your way, as if to say, “You should have expected this.” Yes, you should have expected this. But never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common… 

Their teenage son, who is the same age as your oldest, (but unlike his sister, is not “really into his religion”) nevertheless is compliant, and so he opens the family Bible (New American) and begins reading – a few words from “Matthew.” Not “Saint Matthew,” mind you, just, “Matthew.” After the reading, the host announces, “Let’s all pause for a moment of silence to focus our attention for a suitable period of time on the mystery concerned, before moving into vocal prayer.” The silence is deafening. You have completely lost concentration. Meditation is out of the question. You regret that you are in fact becoming a bit annoyed with your hosts. But never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common… 

Finally, the silence is broken. Together, you all once again recite the Our Father. And once again, your family has to finish the prayer alone. “Finally,” you think to yourself, “I can now say the Hail Mary ten times without any of these embarrassing distractions.” 

You welcome being able to recite the delightful and familiar prayer. You become serene as you make your way through the first part of the Hail Mary. “… and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.” Your family continues, “Holy Mary Mother of God…” Your serenity is shattered by a cacophony. As your family recites the familiar words of the second half of the Hail Mary, your host family is simultaneously reading from a piece of paper, “In whom the Father was well pleased, who was baptized by John in the Jordan.” And then they resume with the second part of the Hail Mary. And this happens ten times. After the first part of the Hail Mary, after the mention of the most Holy Name of Jesus, they all read from their papers in sing-song fashion, “In whom the Father was well pleased, who was baptized by John in the Jordan.” Goodness! It takes all your concentration just to remember to stop mid-stream of each Hail Mary while they read their “…clause referring to the mystery being contemplated.” There is no possibility of doing any contemplating at all. Your children sense your discomfort. They are completely distracted. Your hosts don’t seem to notice. But never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common… 

You have patiently endured the first decade. You wince as the guitar (with 12 strings, a capo and a wide neck strap) comes out for the Glory be. You are mortified as you notice your 5-year-old trying to sing the silly melody along with your hosts, ably led by the president of the parish youth group. The rest of your family is silent. There will be no “SpiritGhost” controversy this time. As soon as the strumming ends, your family begins to recite the Fatima prayer. “O my Jesus, forgive us our sins…” But you stop short because you realize that your hosts are simultaneously and enthusiastically reciting some other “concluding prayer”, which they are reading from their papers. You don’t recognize the prayer, but you can imagine that it was written by the president of the parish youth group, filled, as it is, with references to Central America. You find this disturbing. But never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common… 

You endure this 4 more times. The appropriate luminous mystery is dutifully announced. The teenage daughter (president of the parish youth group) retrieves another sampling of Positively Ugly Novus Ordo Art. You squirm, your spouse squirms, your children squirm. Their teenage son squirms. The president of the parish youth group seems to be positively relishing the experience. (She is “really into her religion.”) The teenage son reads a bit of “Luke” from the family bible (New American). You “…pause for a moment of silence to focus attention for a suitable period of time on the mystery concerned, before moving into vocal prayer.” You recite the Our Father, which your family is obliged to complete alone. And you recite ten Hail Marys, each time stopping midstream as they all read the “…clause referring to the mystery being contemplated” from their papers in sing-song fashion. And then, out comes the guitar (with 12 strings, a capo and a wide neck strap) for the Glory be. Your 5-year-old, being musical, has memorized the insipid little tune and sings along cheerily. The rest of you are silent for the Glory be, and for the recitation of the “concluding prayer”, which they read from their papers. You can’t help but wonder why they even bother to call this monstrosity a Rosary at all. But never mind, the Rosary is something your families have in common… 

At one point, you are forced to gently castigate yourself for forming an uncharitable thought about the president of the parish youth group, as you observe, during the ritual display of the sampling of Positively Ugly Novus Ordo Art, that indeed, the girl is wearing hip-hugger, bellbottom jeans, and they are tie dyed, and, indeed, they are embroidered, on the right rear pocket, yes, with a so-called peace sign. 

As you near the end of this Rosary, you realize that, all in all, this has taken almost an hour. And you understand why your hosts did not kneel. It’s been at least 20 minutes since three of yours fell asleep. You and your spouse have sat back on your heels. Your teenage son’s eyebrow is stuck in the raised position, and your 5-year-old has her Rosary beads hanging over her ear. 

After the last “concluding prayer”, you prepare to recite the Hail Holy Queen. By now, you have learned not to presume, and so you wait in silence. Your family, not having heard the Fatima Prayer, are likewise, silent. Not so, your teenage son. He knows well that the Hail Holy Queen should go right here, and he begins to recite it somewhat forcefully. Your host family has out their sheets of paper, and they are reciting a special prayer, ostensibly “for the intentions of the pope,” presumably crafted by the president of the parish youth group, given the frequent references to the pope’s intentions vis-à-vis Central America. Your son, whose intentions may or may not be pure, presses on deliberately with the Hail Holy Queen, much to the consternation of the president of the parish youth group, who shushes him quite conspicuously. He looks down to keep from laughing, or at least to keep from being seen laughing, and he shakes his head. Something in you wants to encourage the boy. 

It all mercifully ends. You make the sign of the cross, concluding with the “SpiritGhost” controversy. Your hosts are beaming (except for the teenage son, who looks like he wants to crawl into a hole). The president of the parish youth group is positively delighted with herself. Her parents are indeed very proud of her. She is “really into her religion.” 

The head of the household is full of enthusiasm. He is quite happy to tell you all about “RVM”, as he calls it. He is very proud of that fact that he, being a “staunch supporter of the Pope”, was among the first to download “RVM” from the Vatican web site, and actually implement it in his home. He’s also very proud of the fact that he and his daughter (she’s “really into her religion”) are helping to implement “RVM” in their “faith community”. He tells you proudly that he could go on forever about how “RVM” is going to “revitalize the Rosary,” and you are sure that, in fact, he probably will go on forever if you let him. So, you excuse yourself, you bid your hosts good evening, you and your family get in your van, and you begin the 20-minute journey home. Your 5-year-old daughter, who knows well when emperors are naked, pipes up and says, “We didn’t say the Rosary today! Are we going to say it now?” She has no idea how right she is. And together, you begin, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.” 

And you realize that the rosary was the only thing your families had in common. 

Editors note: Each of the aberrations described in this little story is, in fact, recommended to us in the document Rosarium Virginis Mariae, which was recently issued from Rome. We at The Society of Traditional Roman Catholics reject entirely this Novus Ordo Rosariae, and every one of its novelties. We urge you to do likewise. 20 years and more from now, when the Rosary has fallen into disuse, except amongst an ever-diminishing remnant, we intend, by the grace of God, to be able to say, “We never departed from the Old Rosary.” 

STRC Announces Competition

Dateline, The Holy Land, April 1, 2003. 

The Society of Traditional Roman Catholics is pleased to announce a competition. 

With the addition of 5 new “luminous” mysteries to the Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, we find ourselves in a quandary. Historically and traditionally, the Rosary has consisted of 3 sets of 5 mysteries, each mystery being reflected on for 10 Hail Marys. These 150 Hail Marys are intended to correspond exactly to the 150 Psalms in Sacred Scripture, and thus, what we call the Rosary is more correctly referred to as Our Lady’s Psalter. 

We had, at one time in our lives, imagined that no man would dare to tamper with the Mass. But you will readily observe, or so it would seem, that it is possible to change that which may not be changed.

 Likewise, at one time in our lives, we had imagined that no man would dare to tamper with the Rosary. And likewise, you will readily observe, or so it would seem, that it is possible to change that which may not be changed. 

And so we do not scruple to suggest that in order to restore the harmony between Our Lady’s Psalter, and the Psalter of Holy Writ, we must change Holy Writ. We must say that the Psalms are “… a valid method, which can nevertheless be improved.1 ” We believe that “…to bring out fully the Christological depth” of the Psalms, “…it would be suitable to make an addition to the traditional pattern. 2”

Therefore, The Society of Traditional Roman Catholics will award 30 pieces of silver to that individual who writes the best 50 new Psalms.

All entries must be received before the next foolish document issues from Rome (which may not be very long at all). 

In order to ensure that these new psalms are of like character with the other 150 Psalms, all contestants must meet the following criteria:

Contestants must be male, and of royal blood. They must have been shepherds. They must have slain a giant. They must be circumcised. They must have had an affair with the wife of a valiant soldier, whom they have caused to be killed in battle. (Given the current state of things, contestants are dispensed from the requirement of having exposed themselves to the handmaids of their servants.) 

Editors note: Please observe that the dateline on this article is April 1. Yes, it is a cruel hoax, an April Fool’s joke. It is intended to poke fun at the document Rosarium Virginis Mariae, which we wish were merely an April Fool’s joke, but, sadly, is not. 

If you fell for our little joke, then we apologize. We just wanted to keep you on your toes, so as not to “…give rise to the ennui derived from the simple recollection of something already well known.3” Or something like that. 

1 This line was taken from RVM, referring, of course, to the Rosary, and noting that it is excellent, but can be improved upon. Yes indeed. 

2 This is another great line from RVM, suggesting that the Rosary, as given to St. Dominic by the Blessed Mother, lacks “Christological depth.” Yes. Yes indeed. 

3 This is yet another line from RVM. It is one of the sillier things RVM has to say. It refers to the possibility of getting bored from the repetition of Hail Marys. Indeed.

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And here are his reasons for publishing the article above.

Who are you to Criticize?

A takedown of Rosarium Virginis Mariae
First published in The Catholic Voice in 2003.

In bygone days, when every Catholic well understood that to be Catholic was to be traditional, no Catholic would presume, or dare, to criticize any pronouncement issuing from Rome.

So, who am I to criticize Rosarium Virginis Mariae? And who am I to do so, in writing, in a modestly respectable journal such as The Catholic Voice?

Pretty much a nobody, actually.

No one in his right mind would consider me “learned”. I have no credentials to speak of (at least none that matter in this context).
Indeed, in bygone days, no one who considered himself Catholic would dare to criticize any pronouncement issuing from Rome. But that was then. This is now. Given the history of pronouncements issuing from Rome over the past 40 years, one would be imprudent at best to accept such pronouncements uncritically.

So, what qualifies me to stand in judgment of Rosarium Virginis Mariae? Just one thing. I grew up in the sixties and seventies. As a child and then as a youth, I stood and watched helplessly as documents issued forth from Rome, documents that would dismantle the Church. I stood and watched helplessly as the dear sisters were feminized, modernized, sexualized and secularized, and the faithful were scandalized. I stood and watched helplessly as Father married Sister, as the Chant was replaced by Kumbaya and as the “most beautiful thing this side of heaven” was replaced by a monstrosity.
It is not without some apprehension that I would presume to criticize Rosarium Virginis Mariae publicly. But the problems are so glaring, and the parallels with the destruction of the Mass are so plain to see that I would be remiss if I said nothing.

Who am I to criticize? I am one of five children who grew up saying the family Rosary. I am sure beyond doubt that I owe my faith to Our Lady and the Rosary. I am now the father of 5 children who are growing up saying the family Rosary. My own mother is now, and for over 40 years has been, an ardent apostle of the Rosary. The Rosary has been the unchanged devotion, the only constant, the one thing that remained unmolested by the modernizers.

I am still a child, a child of Our Lady, yes. But I am also a man now, and I’m not helpless. And I’ll be damned if I am going to stand and watch as the Rosary is similarly destroyed, and say nothing.

Jim De Piante