From Eccles is Saved
This week's big question arises from a tweet from Fr Kevin Cusick, namely,
Ladies, a priest I know was forced on Sunday to ask a woman at Mass to cover her shoulders. Please help the priest to protect the purity of the men at holy Mass by choosing to dress modestly. The alternative is awkward for all involved. Thank you.
Not welcome at Mass.
This caused a mighty backlash on Twitter, and the good Fr KC felt obliged to drop out, rather than simply replying "You is not saved only I is saved," to his critics, which would be guaranteed to stun them into silence (it always works for me). We asked our experts to comment:
Sister Judy Piranha of the "Nuns on the Train": Coo-eee, Kevin!!?? Come along to our convent, and you'll see far more than naked shoulders!!?? Doesn't your constitution give women the right to bare arms??!! As a retired major-general, you should know all about that!!?? Anyway, Little Judy is just DYING to meet you, and give you a good time!!?? Byeeeee!!??
Bare shoulders are only part of the problem.
Fr James Martin, LGBTSJ: I hope you're all having a good Pride Month, following on from Gay History Month, Catholic Lesbian Month, Transitioning Deacon Month, Priests who like Gay Sex in a Vat of Olive Oil Month, etc. etc.! There's something for everyone in our church, and nobody I know will be excited by a woman's bare arms - except for most of the other women! Anyway, must dash, the Jesuits have got a male stripper coming to Mass this evening!
Fr Jack Hackett, Craggy Island: GIRLS!!!!
Bishop Libby, a part-time onion-seller.
Bishop Libby: We Anglicans brought women's rights kicking and screaming into the 1960s, and burning our bras was only the first step. And the Catholics copied us - there isn't a single cardinal who wears a bra! Not even Tobin. Well, they couldn't get one in his size... Now, girls, remember to dress decently and tastefully, as I do!
Fr Kevin Cusick (mostly saved): You see what I have to put up with?
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Comments are subject to deletion if they are not germane. I have no problem with a bit of colourful language, but blasphemy or depraved profanity will not be allowed. Attacks on the Catholic Faith will not be tolerated. Comments will be deleted that are republican (Yanks! Note the lower case 'r'!), attacks on the legitimacy of Pope Francis as the Vicar of Christ (I know he's a material heretic and a Protector of Perverts, and I definitely want him gone yesterday! However, he is Pope, and I pray for him every day.), the legitimacy of the House of Windsor or of the claims of the Elder Line of the House of France, or attacks on the legitimacy of any of the currently ruling Houses of Europe.