52 Catholic Puns and Dad Jokes That Will Make You Either Groan or Laugh Hysterically

There are, indeed, 52 of them at the link. I'm only going to share a few of my favourites. You'll have to go to the link to read the rest.

From EpicPew

1. I don’t like incense jokes. They are just……THURIBLE!

5. Sr.  Margaret and Sr. Mary were having a face-to-face conversation in St. Peter’s square. Sr. Margaret commented on how she had, at that moment, a lovely view of St. Peter’s Basilica. Just then, Sr. Mary saw the Pope walking towards them with his crozier in hand. Sr. Mary said, “Oh, but if you were to look where I’m looking, you would have an even more special view.” Sr. Margaret shook her head and said, “No, I can see the reflection of what you are seeing right now in your eyes, and trust me. The sight of the basilica is much better than a pope in the eye with a stick.”

11. This EPIC meme

14. A man is out for a drive one night, and a thunderstorm comes out of nowhere. After crawling along in the dark for a few minutes, the man decides to give up and find shelter. Off in the distance, he sees some lights, so he drives towards the lights. He arrives at the building and knocks on the door. Unbeknownst to him, it is a monastery. The porter answers the door, and the man explains his predicament and begs for shelter. The porter smiles and says, “Actually, hospitality is one of our charisms. Please, come in.” The man thanks the porter and enters. “Have you had supper?” asks the porter. “No, but don’t trouble yourself,” the man replies. “I just need a place to sleep tonight.” “We just finished eating,” the porter replies. “It would not be a great burden to re-heat some food for you.” So, the porter takes the man into the dining room where, in a couple of moments, he is served fish and chips, and it is the best fish and chips he has ever had. When he finishes eating, he asks to meet the brothers who cooked his meal. Two of the brothers enter the dining room from the kitchen. The man says, “Thank you so much. That was the best fish and chips I have ever had. I just want to know who did what.” One brother raises his hand and says, “Well, I’m the fish FRIAR.” The other brother says, “And, I’m the chip MONK.”

(The first time I heard this, it was used as an example of a totally untranslatable joke.-JW)

16. A store in Beijing was advertising itself as the store “Where the Pope buys his plates.” The Pope sent a priest to the store to get them to change their slogan, but the store’s owners did not listen. Next, the pope sent a bishop to the store, but the bishop was also unable to convince the store’s owners to cease their advertising campaign. The pope then sent a cardinal to Beijing. When the cardinal returned unsuccessful, the Pope became enraged. He wrote a furious letter to the store’s owners. He handed the note to the cardinal and told him to find some cattle stick the letter on one of their horns and get it to charge into the store. The day after the cardinal carried out the Pope’s orders, the frontpage headline of L’Osservatore Romano read, “Papal Bull in a China Shop.”

25. An Eastern Orthodox priest was talking was discussing liturgical differences with a Catholic priest. At one point, he asked the Catholic priest, “What language does the Western Church use in its liturgies? It’s LATIN, RIGHT?”

36. There was a Pope who held a meeting with his cardinals every 12th of the month for his entire papacy. He was very CONSISTORY!

45. What did Fr. Romaine say at his first Mass?……”LETTUCE pray!”

49. What is it called when the Pope runs out of sauce for his tacos?……SEDE PICANTE!