It’s 1970 and This Is a Typical Article on the Liturgy Then but Written Now

Fr McDonald doesn't normally do satire, but it turns out he's very good at it! This is hilariously too close to the truth!

From Southern Orders

By Fr Allan J. McDonald

Vatican II mandated so many good things for the liturgy to enable it to be less structured, less rigid, less rubrical and more flexible, friendly, inclusive, creative and theme oriented. Let us give thanks to the Holy Spirit for enlightening liturgists to respond to where the Holy Spirit is opening windows to allow the fresh air of renewal that will lead to a new springtime for parishes in a renewed liturgy.

The Eucharistic Liturgy must now be celebrated in a way that acknowledges the people, tears down the altar railing that separate the clergy from the laity, the altar from the nave and the people from one another.

The most important thing a parish can be is a welcoming, inclusive parish. Greeters must be present to shake hands, hug and pat on the back those entering the church; they should not enter a cold, unwelcoming, untouching parish in the worst of times in the pre-Vatican II Church and Mass. High touch is necessary.

Once the liturgy begins, the commentator as she introduces the theme of the Mass, offers a reflection on the theme and then invites all to rise by widely using her arms to gesture warmly that the assembly should rise. Then she should  ask everyone to turn to the other and greet them and introduce themselves to each other, hugs, kisses and hand shaking are highly encouraged and modeled near the altar for all to see.

Of course, Vatican II mandated that the presbyter should be as warm, friendly, smiling and as genuine as possible. The words of the Sacramentary are simply guidelines and it is best that the priest make those words his own with his own style, warmth and sense of humanity. Thus it is best to use secular greetings rather than religious ones to sanctify the secular. After the Sign of the Cross, but using non sexist words, such as, Creator, Redeemer and Sanctifier, the priest joyfully greeting everyone by saying good morning, how are you and I am glad you are hear, it warms my heart. To which the assembly responds, Good morning, father or better yet, the presbyter's given first name which makes everyone equal.

Again, since Vatican II mandated this, we need more high touch in the liturgy and the repetition of asking the assembly to greet each other again as a sign of solidarity, all turn to each other and offer a kind word, a kiss, hug or friendly smile.

The assembly then uses its own versions of the Lord have mercy and Gloria, paraphrased to reflect the nature of the community worshipping in this place and at this time.

The presbyter then prays the opening prayer and if written, the assembly joins him in reciting it. But often it is best that the presbyter pray from the heart using his own words to reflect the needs of the assembly at this particular Mass.

The Liturgy of the word occurs. If the theme of the Mass demands it, it is best to substitute one of the readings with a secular reading tied to the theme of the Mass. Often poetry is a wonderful substitution.

During the liturgical year, the homily should be given by a lay person reflecting on her life and leading the assembly to appreciate the domestic church and its inclusion of so many secular goodies that bring the family or whoever they live with closer to each other. Dialogue homilies are great too as we need to hear the wisdom of the assembly and how the Holy Spirit offers them a different version of the truth.

It is best to develop a parish creed to reflect what this particular parish believes which could be different than the parish down the street. A committee inspired by the Holy Spirit will keep things on track in a fresh, new way. The General Intercessions should be offered by parishioners in the assembly. If they cannot be heard, they should line up before a microphone that allows them to offer from the heart their own petitions.

It is best that the parishioners now set the table in a choreographed way.  Fluffing the table cloth over the table of the Eucharist as dancers joyfully ballet around the altar shows the joy of this assembly at a family meal. The bread, wine and offering for the poor, are placed on the altar in one large bowl and giant decanter. The bread is homemade and the wine fermented in someone's tub. Each person places their host in the giant bowl when they enter the church. More people touching the hosts the better as this will add to the distinctive smell of the sheep of this particular congregation.  More people drinking from one common chalice is the best too.

At the Our Father, all are asked to hold hands, cross the aisle and join with the other side. Even the presbyter holds hands in an unbroken chain with servers who reach out to the assembly. And of course all raise their arms while holding hands at the doxology.

At the sign of peace, all go around the church greeting, hugging, kissing and enjoying other members of the assembly especially the visitor, the introvert and those who appear too serious, pious or unhappy especially the pre-Vatican II person stunted in growth and resisting the Holy Spirit's renewal.

At communion time, each person takes their own host from the one bowl. It matters not that they touch other hosts or spread crumbs on the floor, The Lord can take care of himself and enjoys people all around him even on the floor. And all drink from the common chalice with a lay person holding the large decanter to fill the chalice so it never goes dry. Turning the chalice and wiping the rim with a purificator will give everyone drinking from the common chalice a feeling that germs are incapable of affecting or infecting them. And of course, the Holy Spirit will keep people healthy in mind, body and spirit.

At the recessional, the best song for all to sing that enables them to dance also is "The Father will dance." Liturgy committees may want to change Father to Creator or Facilitator or Animator or Dancer or Prancer.

The Holy Spirit has renewed the Eucharistic Liturgy for the first time in 2000 years. Our renewed Church will be dynamic in the year 2020 with the Church having achieved 2020 vision of hospitality, inclusiveness, friendliness and all the masks of pickled, peppered faces will have been removed. All parishes will have unmasked their rigid, cold, uncaring ways and the assembly's warmth, hand holding, hugging and kissing will create fellowship that will be carried to the world where all will be unmasked of their rigid coldness, revealing warm faces, smiling teeth and holy closeness.

Eugenia Wash, March, 1970 for Aides in Ministry (AIM). (not really).