Papal Allergies

OMM's ironically amusing answer to Francis hypocritically tweeting that he's 'allergic' to adjectives.

From One Mad Mom

I try, try, try so hard to ignore papal interviews and tweets, but some days I just can’t. It’s hard with “REALLLLLLYYYY?!?!?” blaring in my brain. I’m just going to paste the whole thing and comment after. Emphasis mine. 

Pope Francis loves nouns but is ‘allergic’ to adjectives
By Jessie Yeung, CNN

 (CNN)The Pope wants us to stop using so many adjectives.
In a speech on Monday to the Dicastery for Communications, the Vatican’s communications authority, Pope Francis urged people not to describe Christianity with qualifiers and adjectives. “We have fallen into the culture of adjectives and adverbs, and we have forgotten the strength of nouns,” he said.

Instead of calling churches “small but authentic,” or trying to distinguish things as “authentically Christian,” he said people should call them simply “Christian.” The term “Christian” is strong and authentic enough as it is, without the need for adjectives, he said.

“I am allergic to those words,” he added.
He pointed to the role of the employees as communications managers, saying their aim should be to “communicate with reality, without sweetening with adjectives or adverbs.” Communication is a kind of beauty, he said — and “beauty manifests itself from the noun itself, without strawberries on the cake.”

Let us learn to call people by their name, as the Lord does with us, and to give up using adjectives.
— Pope Francis (@Pontifex) September 24, 2019 (Note fromOMM: This is the tweet I got from Pope Francis that led to this rant)

This was the first time the Pope met the Dicastery since first establishing it in 2015, when he had cited the need for a “rethinking” of the Holy See’s information system in a new age of digital media. He touched on this theme again in his Monday speech, encouraging the Dicastery to “encourage the formation of digital environments in which people communicate.”

Over the years, he has personally embraced these digital platforms — he launched an Instagram account in 2016, and gained a million followers in less than 12 hours. He’s also active on Twitter, and even tweeted out a reminder on Wednesday to “call people by their name, as the Lord does with us, and to give up using adjectives.

Like I tweeted back to him, I could totally get on board with this if we ditch all those evil adjectives, adverbs, and qualifiers attached to nouns. How about “LGBT” and “rigid” first?

The guy definitely needs a heavy dose of Benadryl if adjectives and adverbs are allergens.  He must be suffering greatly! I also think he should have a talk with the guy who said these things! Might help with the allergies and make those in-flight interviews a bit shorter. I’m going to limit it just to the adjectives/adverbs attached to “Catholic” and “Christian”. If I didn’t, the list of adjectives, adverbs and qualifiers could go on forever. I’m sure I missed some.  If you want a lengthier list, go here. 

Ideological Christians! Rigid Christians! Liquid Christian! Superficial Christians! Long-faced, mournful funeral Christian! Sad Christian! Pickled pepper-faced Christian! Christians allergic to preaching! Closed, sad, trapped Christian who is not a free Christian! Pagan Christian! Defeated Christian! Creed-reciting, parrot Christian! Watered-down faith, weak-hoped Christian! Pastry-Shop Christians! Delectable, but not real Christians! Anesthetised Christian! Christian hypocrites only interested in their formalities! Sloth-diseased, acedic Christians! Catholics, but without enthusiasm, even embittered! People without light – real downers! Selfish Christians, out for themselves! Christians who do not leave space for the grace of God! Christians with all the paperwork, all the certificates, in order! Christian bats who prefer the shadows to the light! Starched Christians! Christians who are too polite! Christians who speak of theology calmly over tea! Catholics who work for personal profit! Catholics who presented themselves as benefactors of the Church and made money on the side! Weak-hearted Christians! Christians in appearance! Made-up Christians, because when the rain comes, the make-up runs off! So many ‘apparent Christians,’ collapse at the first temptation! Christians of appearance! Dead Christians! Christians who prefer a spectacle to the silence of the Kingdom of God! Vain, pageant Christians! Christians without strength, without fertility! A Christian out for himself, to serve himself! Christian with a sad life! Christians enemies of the Cross of Christ! Pagans with two strokes of Christian paint, so as to appear like Christians, but pagans nonetheless! Dark Christians who lead a life of sin! Christians who are neither light nor dark! Christians of grey areas on one side first and then the other! Christians who live for appearances! For vanity! Peacocks Christians! They strut about like peacocks! Soap bubble Christian! Obstinate Christians! Idolater Christians! Christian rebels! Christians with half-and-half a life! A life that is patched, mended, meaningless! Motionless Christians! Mummified Christians! Embalmed, mummy Christians! Vagabond Christians! Wanderer Christians! Labyrinth Christians without a compass! Stubborn Christians! Christians who stop half way along their journey! Half-way Christians! Non-Christian Christians! Slightly ‘paganized’ Christians! Parlour Christians! Virtual Christians who are not virtuous! Christians with a grimace! Lazy Christians! Christians who do not have the will to go forward! Stationary Christians! Etc., Etc., Etc.
-Pope Francis

Wait! What?! Pope Francis said all those things?!  Oh, the Holy Father must be doing all of this just to show us the true meaning of Matthew 7:5. That must be it! Or maybe he’s just trying to build up a tolerance to those allergies!

But seriously, folks…I don’t have a problem with half of these, but isn’t it a tad bit hypocritical to claim to detest what you do regularly? Sometimes it’s just too much for us regular folks (or just plain “folks”?) to take without comment.