21 September 2018

The Dictator Apostle

I love Eccles (luv, as he would say)! Absolutely brilliant satire.

From Eccles is Saved

Jerusalem, A.D. 33. Ecclesiam reports.

I've just been reading "The Dictator Apostle" by Marcus Antonius, alias the historian Henry the Sire-enian, who is very critical of Jorgas Iscarglio, one of the 12 Apostles.

Many people, notably St Stephen of Walford, keeper of the piano keys, would claim that Iscarglio, as an apostle, is beyond criticism. After all, he was appointed by Jesus Himself and given authority to cast out evil spirits (e.g. Jesuits) and to cure diseases. However, the reality suggests that somehow the St Galilee Mafia fixed it for Jorgas to get the job, and his Apostleship will lead to disaster.

He's not the Messiah, he's just a very naughty apostle.

Criticisms of Iscarglio, the "Argentinian" apostle, centre on his aggressive and dictatorial nature, his dodgy financial transactions (involving an unexplained donation of 30 pieces of silver), his attempts to rewrite Christian teaching on marriage, his refusal to discuss doctrine with his dubious colleagues, even his encouragement of Cardinal Maccabees the serial sex-criminal.

Like his Master, Jorgas consorts with publicans and sinners, but unlike Him he tells them "Keep it up, you're doing a grand job. Who am I to judge?" When one notorious sinner, Bono the Tuneless, came to see him, explaining that he was pro-abortion, and was backed by a very dodgy group, Iscarglio merely replied, "U2?"

Attempts are already being made to declare Jorgas a saint.

Henry the Sire-enian believes it will end badly for Jorgas, and he may be right.

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