Post Earth Day: Six Things To Do And Share

Whilst I cannot endorse praying for Francis's death (I do, however, pray for his and his minions' conversion daily), the rest are great ideas!

From Mundabor's Blog

Earth Day is now beyond us. I am sure you will be exhausted from hearing your leftist neighbour go on and on about the celebrations. This little guide is a help on useful things to do (and not to do) the day after.

So let us start without further ado:

Do not kill and compost your girlfriend

One of the founders and Co-celebrants of the first Earth Day in 1970 killed and composted his girlfriend. Whilst his composting her was certainly a sign of commitment to the environment, I suggest that you don’t do it. I mean neither the killing nor the composting. “Thou shall not kill”, and all that. Still, make sure your neighbour knows about the girlfriend- composting. Ask him if it’s environmentally friendly, and whether he would recommend it.

Pray the Rosary

You probably know it already, but let me tell you just for security: every day is Christ’s Day, and we can do much worse than to honour our Saviour and His Most Holy Mother by praying the rosary. One day you will die, and all those rosaries will do much more good to you than you can ever do “the planet”. Bonus points for having the neighbour hear it.

Pray that Francis dies soon

In this post-earth-day day, relax in your garden, or in your favourite room, and take a couple of minutes for a heartfelt prayer to God, that he may rid us all of Francis soon. This will give you a well-deserved certainty that you are doing what is in your power to help the Church in this time of great difficulty.

Have a laugh about Laudato Si’

Open your favourite beer. Perhaps accompany it with one or two butter biscuits. As you savour the brew, reflect on how unbelievably stupid it is for a pope to try to play environment apostle like he is some girlfriend-composting pothead of the early Seventies. As you keep deepening your sense of deep retardation of Francis’ action, you will surprise yourself laughing. Savour the moment and thank God for His providential sense of humour. Bonus points if your neighbours ask you what that loud laughing was all about

Spend some time reading the Gospel

Brew your favourite tea, and sit with it in a cosy corner of your home. You may add some cream if you feel so inspired. Absorb Our Lord’s wonderful words in the New Testament, and reflect on the fact that whilst girlfriend-composting potheads do not know a thing about the earth, God actually made it, and you can be sure there were no defects in the project.

Meditate on the Beatitudes

Sit on your favourite couch – or on your garden bench – and meditate on the Beatitudes. As you do so, alternate with prayers for the salvation of the poor idiots who think that God’s creation may die because of too many cows or too many humans, all of which he providentially made. Contrast the Divine Wisdom of Our Lord with the boundless stupidity of earth bigots, of both the composting and non-composting varieties.

There. I think this will be enough.

These days, it’s so entertaining to be a Catholic.