28 November 2022

/Satire/ Francis “Shocked” To Discover That China Is Ruled by Baddies /satire/

Eccles has discovered the truth about Vatican-China relations! Francis just didn't know that Xi and the ChiComs are evil!

From Eccles is Saved

The Vatican-China deal (arranged by that wily oriental Pa-Ro Lin) is now in tatters, after the Chinese went ahead and appointed two new cardinals, Ro-Chee and Mac-El Roy, without any consultation.

"I am shocked, SHOCKED, you hear, to discover that China, which we had assumed was as benevolently run as the Vatican, is in fact run by a brutal dictator who persecutes the Traditional Latin Mass" said the Holy Father today.

Casablance scene
Cardinal Czerny (moustached) tells Pa-Ro Lin that he is SHOCKED!

"If only someone had warned me that President Xi was not to be trusted!" said Pope Francis. "Surely we have some of our own clerics over there who are not members of the Chinese Secret Police? Couldn't one of them have taken the trouble to come to Rome to warn me that things were not going too well over there?"

There's even a rumour that some cardinal I've never heard of has been arrested and put on trial for alleged financial misdeeds. Cardinal Becciu tells me he is SHOCKED as wel."

Cardinal Zen in Rome
No sign of any Chinese cardinals in Rome!

Still, all is not lost. Pope Francis has asked one of his synod "experts", the wily little oriental I-va Ree (you've done that joke already) to go to China and "sort them out". I-va Ree already has a China-style suit, whch he wears when he wants people to take him seriously (not much luck there!) so he should fit in well.

Ivereigh in his best suit
"What the Chinese need is more synods!" says I-va Ree.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments are subject to deletion if they are not germane. I have no problem with a bit of colourful language, but blasphemy or depraved profanity will not be allowed. Attacks on the Catholic Faith will not be tolerated. Comments will be deleted that are republican (Yanks! Note the lower case 'r'!), attacks on the legitimacy of Pope Francis as the Vicar of Christ (I know he's a material heretic and a Protector of Perverts, and I definitely want him gone yesterday! However, he is Pope, and I pray for him every day.), the legitimacy of the House of Windsor or of the claims of the Elder Line of the House of France, or attacks on the legitimacy of any of the currently ruling Houses of Europe.