What happens in the confessional stays in the confessional and that binds everyone involved, Priest and laity alike. In fact, unless the penitent brings it up outside the box, even the Priest may not mention it in conversation with him.
From Catholic365
By Michael Sirbanddia
Many years ago I visited a beautiful old church on a weekday and decided to go to confession as a priest was hearing them at that time. Including me, there were about 10 to 12 people seeking to have their confessions heard. Unfortunately, the lone confessional was also quite old and not a very beautiful box, but of much greater concern was the fact that it was little more than a few pieces of wood and a curtain to separate the priest and penitent from others in the church. However, the arrangement of the church pews was such that the closest anyone could be to the confessional while waiting to go to confession was some 20 feet away, and it was quickly understood that waiting for confession was to be done while sitting or kneeling in the pews 20 to 40 feet away from the confessional. Because of this a prudent privacy of the confessional was maintained, or so I thought after a few people ahead of me had their confessions heard, but then...
...a somewhat elderly lady just ahead of me made her way into the confessional, and within moments it became apparent that she was speaking much too loudly for that confessional, and what she was saying could be heard without even trying to do so. Knowing that such was not meant for anyone to hear except the priest, I immediately clasped my hands around my ears to block out the lady’s voice, but no sooner had I done this when I noticed out of the corner of my left eye what was probably a middle-aged man and his wife sitting just a few feet back in the pew behind me. Turning my head a bit toward both of them, I saw that they were not reading, looking down, or looking toward the center area of the altar and crucifix as is more typically the case for people waiting to go to confession while sitting or kneeling in pews, but they were in fact intently gazing directly at the confessional, and there was no effort made by either of them to try to avoid hearing what was being said.
What to do? Do I just let it go and hope for the best or try something else? As my mind was racing in a bit of panic mode, the solution I hit upon was not the best, and sometime later I came up with the proverbial ‘this is what I should have done,’ but what I did more or less worked at the time to prevent others from hearing the lady’s confession (thank the Good Lord it only lasted a few minutes). I first considered moving swiftly to the confessional box and advising the priest what was taking place, but I quickly decided against doing this as I was worried that such a directly interfering action might cause more harm in the process, and so I decided to provide some relatively discreet but definitive counter-noise to the confession by engaging in various forms of fidgeting made up of jangling some coins and keys in my pockets while also coughing, clearing my throat, and squeaking my shoes on the church floor. I didn’t do these things all at once, but I moved somewhat methodically from one thing to the next all the while making it look like I was just trying to get settled in the pew and/or I was suffering from a kind of palsy or nervous ticks. It seemed to be working for about 30 seconds, but then the gentleman directly behind me decided that he had enough of my noise-making, and in no uncertain terms he expressed his dissatisfaction with my behavior as if I was simply a spoiled child acting like a jerk. Taking advantage of this harsh reprimand, I apologized at length, and I also apologized to his companion, and I did this twice in succession. Interestingly, the gentleman decided to take a few more shots at my behavior that in other circumstances would have likely resulted in me pushing back since I had already apologized, but again, I took advantage of his own noise-making to continue apologizing, and soon thereafter in a brief moment of little or no noise from either of us, the beautiful Act of Contrition could be heard from a distance. Mission accomplished. A few moments later it became my turn for confession, and as I was leaving the pew I turned back toward the gentleman and lady behind me, nodded toward both of them with a wry smile on my face, and then made my way to the confessional.
Now why did I make such a fuss? People of good will and morality know that listening in on any kind of private conversation between others is flat out wrong, but when it comes to possibly overhearing the confession of others, the obligation in charity and justice to avoid doing so is even more important because it is simply no one’s business other than the penitent’s, the priest’s, and God’s. Moreover, if a confession is overheard no matter how innocently it may have happened, the sacred seal of confession that people know applies to the Priest ALSO APPLIES TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO BECOMES AWARE OF WHAT HAS BEEN SAID IN THE CONFESSION OF ANOTHER PERSON, and if the seal is broken by revealing to anyone what another person has said in confession, a most serious sin has been committed.
From the website Catholic Straight Answers, note very carefully the following from Father William P. Saunders regarding the responsibility of the laity to uphold the seal of confession:
“Another interesting side to this question is the obligation of the laity to uphold the seal of confession: An interpreter needed for someone to make a confession or anyone who gains knowledge of a confession (such as overhearing someone’s confession) is also obligated to preserve secrecy (Code of Canon Law, #983.2). For such a person to violate the secrecy of another person’s confession is a mortal sin and warrants “a just penalty, not excluding excommunication” (#1388.2).”
(see https://catholicstraightanswers.com/can-the-seal-of-confession-be-broken-or-the-secrets-ever-be-revealed-by-priests/)
Now dear reader I ask you: were you aware that the seal of confession extends to the laity, or have you labored under the false impression that it applies only to the Priest, and so you are free to gossip about anything you may have overheard or learned about in the confession of another? If you have been so aware and have always acted accordingly, kudos to you, but if not and you have gossiped regarding someone’s confession, then be sure to confess this very serious sin as soon as possible, and also avoid the occasion of this sin in the future by making sure you cannot overhear what is taking place in the confession of another.
Another thing I highly recommend doing is engaging friends and fellow parishioners and/or fellow churchgoers in casual conversation to see what their understanding of the seal of confession is as it pertains to the laity, and if the most important catechesis on the obligation is needed, please be sure to provide it without hesitation. If you are met with resistance of any kind, invite the person or persons you are discussing this with to seek out a Priest or Bishop or sound Catholic Moral theologian to corroborate what you explained.
A few more things that could also prove highly beneficial are the following:
Ask a Parish Pastor or Priest to explain the laity’s seal of confession obligation a few times a year as part of a sermon or after a homily, and to also recommend that people avoid being too close to a confessional when confessions are being heard.
If you notice that the way the confessionals are set up makes it too easy to overhear confessions, ask the Parish Pastor to make changes to better preserve the privacy and seal of confession, and to also help the laity avoid both possible sins and occasions of sin in this regard.
Ask a Parish Pastor if you or someone else designated by the Pastor can create a very short flyer on the topic, and upon approval of the content by the Pastor, include or insert it in a Sunday bulletin, and also place the flyer in various locations (also after approval by the Pastor) in and around the Church. Having such a flyer inside the confessionals that a penitent will readily see upon entering could also prove to be most helpful if such is permitted.
The Seal of Confession is a Most Beautiful and Sacred Obligation. It is to be fully honored not only by Priests, but by all members of the Church.
I was not are that the seal applied to everyone. As a practical matter I, as a Catholic gentleman, would never divulge anything accidentally overheard in a confessional. More out of agape than canonical rules. But it is good to know the applicable canon law.
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