A New (Camouflage) Wallet

My old Edmonton Oilers wallet has given up the ghost. Even the best Chinese made 'Canadian' products have a finite life span. It served me well for years, tho', so I have no complaint.

However, needing a wallet, I went to our local Dollar General, generally referred to as simply the 'dollar store', which is a serious misnomer. They did indeed have wallets. A selection of three, a 'leather' bifold, a trifold of similar material, and a canvas trifold with Velcro closure, quite like my old Oilers wallet. I purchased the canvas trifold for the princely sum of $8.00 (+ tax). See what I meant about 'dollar store'?

However, rather than showing my loyalty to my favourite NHL team, this wallet shows my 'loyalty' to something called 'Mossy Oak', which Wikipedia informs me is 'a West Point, Mississippi–based branded camouflage and outdoor lifestyle company founded by Toxey Haas in 1986. Mossy Oak is owned and operated by its parent company Haas Outdoors, Inc.'

My 'Mossy Oak' wallet becomes the second camouflage item I own, the other being a camouflage bandanna, also purchased at a dollar store, but for the honest price of $1.00.

I've never been a big fan of camouflage unless I'm hiding in the woods, and since the only time I'm likely to be in the deep woods is if I'm hunting, the last thing I want to do is hide! I want my clothing to stridently shout, 'Human! Do not shoot'!

However, I have a niece who is a big fan. I once took a Facebook quiz, 'How Redneck Are You'? I've always considered my neck to be pretty red (I'm sitting here with a redneck, white socks and a Blue Ribbon beer!), but I only scored 80% because I didn't own any camouflage clothing. I shared it on FB and my niece chastised me! Of course, she wore a camouflage sash with her wedding dress and the groom and groomsmen had camouflage cummerbunds!

At any rate, a day or two after purchasing the new wallet, I decided it was time to put it to use, transferring from the old to the new. Changing to a new wallet is like spring cleaning. It's a chance to get rid of useless items you've been carrying around for years.

Among the items that went into my rubbish pile were long expired coupons, business cards from people that I have no idea who they are or why I have their cards, a number of losing lottery tickets, a Jimmy John's gift card with (if I remember correctly) 50 cents remaining, my 2016-17 union membership card, an expired 'coupon card' from a friend's son's Scout Troop fundraiser that I bought and never used, my UKIP membership card, and other odds and ends.

In the save pile, to be transferred to the new wallet, were things like my ID card, my Social Security, Medicare, and insurance cards, and a couple of expired membership cards I kept for sentimental reasons. Retirement has meant I can no longer afford luxuries like membership in the Royal Canadian and Royal British Legions, but I've kept the cards.

However, the most interesting thing was what I found in the bill section. I do not normally carry money in my wallet. I have one bank card that I keep in a convenient slot in the wallet, but folding money goes in a money clip I carry in my trousers pocket.

So imagine my surprise at finding four, neatly folded $2.00 Federal Reserve notes. Disappointingly, they were not the 'red sealed' United States notes of my boyhood, but the boring green sealed Fed notes. I have no idea how long I've had them, but along with many other people, when I get a $2.00 note, I save it. This also explains why they are rarely received in change.

However, the biggest surprise was a ten cent 'Canadian Tire Money' note, complete with Sandy McTire sporting his tam o' shanter and moustache. I've been back in the States from Canada for almost nine years. Have I been carrying that around the whole time?