Someone Is In My Seat!

Only once at an ordinary Sunday Mass in the years I've attended St Wenceslaus has someone ever sat in 'my seat'. I wasn't going to argue with a visiting Priest!

From Catholic Stand

By Dom Cingoranelli

“Someone is in my seat!” Thus began the conversation between the parishioner and the hospitality minister. As I understand it, after a parish re-opened following the infamous lockdowns, those in charge of compliance with distancing rules used general seating assignments to manage things. But, as it was relayed to me, this conversation occurred after the seating assignments had gone away. Furthermore, the seating assignments apparently never were that specific to begin with. In other words, any seating chart would only show you which section of some pew they wanted you in. Nothing as specific as a spot in a pew to file a claim on as “my seat” ever existed.

My Seat, Your Seat, His Seat, Her Seat

Some Catholics do seem to be pretty territorial when it comes to “their seat” in the pew. Other Christians may be as well; I simply don’t have a basis to know, because I am a “cradle Catholic.” I’ll bet I am not the only Catholic who has received a “look” after sliding into a pew somewhere, though. The look I’m referring to is, the “You’re in my seat…” look. That means someone now has to change where they sit for the duration of one Mass.

Just how hard can it be to sit somewhere else for one Mass, though? From my experience working in organizational development, I know that change can be hard. Unfortunately, that seems to be as true in the nave as it is in the office or in the job trailer. For some of the Catholic faithful, the need to change seat location does seem to cause varying levels of angst.

Seat Anxiety

So, what’s the source of this angst? Does the angst—anxiety, agitation, anger, resentment—come from the Lord? After all, when you’re sitting anywhere in the nave of a Catholic church, you are in the presence of the Lord. Sure, if you’re in a state of grace, the Holy Trinity abides within your soul. But Jesus Christ, King of kings, Lord of lords, in all his glorious majesty, resides physically in the tabernacle. So, where do you suppose that agitation comes from?

Looking at It Differently

Maybe some strangers show up at daily Mass and they sit in your “regular” seat. Of course, “your” seat is a really good seat, in a great location. It doesn’t matter where it is–front, back, side, or middle or the church–it’s a great location in your opinion. Yet now, these other people are there. “What a disappointment. They’re in my seat! Who do they think they are?” Why did they take that spot you had marked out for your daily dose of grace?

On the other hand, what would your reaction to all of this be if you knew why they took “your” seat? Might it change? What if you knew that one of them is extremely ill, and suffering a great deal? What if you knew that they were there at the behest of the priest who would anoint that person and pray with them after Mass? Would that change your perspective?

Advice from Jesus

After all, Jesus tells us, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Mt 11:28) He doesn’t mention anything about where to sit when we bring our cares, worries, and concerns to Him. Oh, but He does mention the tax collector, humbly standing in the back, asking for mercy, while the Pharisee stands up front thanking God that he’s not like that tax collector. (cf. Lk 18:9-14) If the Pharisee were a modern-day Mass goer, how would he view someone sitting in “his” seat?

When We Get Distracted

Hopefully, neither you nor I are like the Pharisee, are we? But, do we occasionally need to do a spiritual gut check? Where are our hearts? If we’re letting things like where we sit agitate us before Mass begins, that says something about where our hearts are. It may be an indication of how the devil is working to separate us from God. If we’re worked up about seating arrangements, are we really being open to the awesome graces from participating in the Mass? Are we taking advantage of the sacrament of the present moment? Just an educated guess here, but I suspect that the answer to these questions is “not likely.” That means the devil wins and you lose.

But I Support the Church

It’s great to have a long-term relationship with a parish—to be a long-time contributor to its success. Obviously, it’s important to support it financially. In my secular work, I was blessed to work with many people who’d achieved a high degree of financial success. Some of them generously supported their church or other nonprofit organizations. And some of that group felt that, because they gave a nice sum of money to their church or their favorite nonprofit, they had more of a say in what it did.

They believed that, in return for their largesse, they ought to receive a bit of special treatment within the church or the other organization. Yet everything that we have is God’s. He gave it, or the means to get it, to us to begin with. Giving some of it back may just mean that we are unworthy servants doing what He commanded us. (cf. Lk 17:10) Giving for the greater glory of God means we’re doing it for God–without strings attached. Sometimes we forget that.

Be Grateful, Not Begrudging

Unfortunately, we may also forget that, from the one to whom much has been given, much more is expected (cf. Lk 12:48) What is this “more” all about? In addition to material support, might it also be about gratitude? Gratitude for what we have, no matter how little or how much. Perhaps it’s about growing in charity—not just in monetary donations, but in true love of, and care for, our brothers and sisters in Christ. That includes assuming charitable intent in others. We also are called to be present, not only to God, but to others as well. For example, what might they need from us? How can we help them in some way in this moment? What can we do for them?

God’s Grace Is Sufficient

We can begin to answer these questions by praying for the grace to grow in the gift of wisdom. This can help us see as God sees and understand as He does, with the result that we can practice the virtue of charity more fruitfully. Looking at things, people, events, and circumstances more supernaturally helps us to focus on loving God through serving and loving others. It can help us overcome those temptations to indignation that arise when we find someone “sitting in my seat,” for example.  That issue won’t even hit the radar screen of our thoughts and emotions when we ask for and respond to God’s grace. Besides—no matter who we are, how much we do or give–there’s no one spot in the pew that’s marked out solely for us. Never was, never will be.

“Lord, teach me to be generous; teach me to serve you as you deserve; to give and not to count the cost; to fight and not to heed the wounds; to toil, and not to seek for rest; to labor, and not to ask for reward – except to know that I am doing your will.” – St. Ignatius of Loyola