I laughed until I realized they were serious.

 That was a little less than half of a New York minute.

 Apparently, there are a bunch of―for lack of a better word, “Christians”―who want to also practice demon-inspired sorcery and keep Jesus as their spare backup friend.

 Of course, these “Christian witches” wouldn’t put it that way. They want the right and ability to manipulate spirits to do their bidding, and they think Jesus is perfectly fine with that.

 These “Christian witches” are having their first “coven convention” in April 15-21 in Salem, Massachusetts.

 Christian “witch” Valerie Love and her sidekick “Prophet” Calvin Witcher claim “Jesus was a sorcerer” and the “Bible is really a book of magic.”

 Love describes herself as a “practicing Christian witch” and “an ordained minister of spiritual consciousness,”―which means absolutely nothing. She recently launched the Covenant of Christian Witches Mystery School to Christians pratfall into Hell. She insists there is nothing wrong with the idea of Christians practicing magic despite many biblical admonitions against it (Deuteronomy 18:10-14, Leviticus 19:31, Leviticus 20:6, Leviticus 20:27, 1 Chronicles 10:13, 1 Samuel 15:23, 2 Chronicles 33:6, Micah 5:10-12, Isaiah 8:19-22, Isaiah 19:1-4, Isaiah 47:8-14, Acts 8:9-13, Acts 19:17-20, Galatians 5:19-21, Revelation 18:23, Revelation 21:8).

 Witcher is keen on spewing fast-talking platitudes like, “The Bible is a huge book of sorcery. You literally can’t get around that. You can’t get around Jesus being a magician. There’s just no way.”

 Witcher’s proof that Jesus was a “sorcerer” are the miracles he performed.

 In reality, “Christian witches” are neither Christians nor witches. A Christian cannot involve herself in sorcery, and being a witch is a self-delusion created by a narcissistic need to appear “special” and “important.” They don’t have special magic powers. The devil hates them as much as he hates the rest of us and doesn’t give them any powers. Further, the devil has absolutely no creative powers and thus only gives them the illusion that they have powers. He is, after all, the Father of Lies (John 8:44). God, instead, is the Sole Creator and is Truth Itself (John 14:6).

The Pot Calling the Kettle Black

 But, Angelo — you’re a magician! Therefore, you’re consorting with demons and the Forces of Darkness!

 Well… if I were truly consorting with demons, I would be able to saw my assistant in half without a gimmicked saw with a rubber blade. Instead, I must rely upon stagecraft rather than witchcraft to seemingly accomplish the impossible. If there was no difference between stage magic and the one’s crazy witches and pagans pretend there is, then every kid’s magic kit sold in department stores is a “portal to Hell.” And every time your uncle told you he “got your nose,” it must actually have snapped off in his hand.

 And if I’m truly consorting with demons to produce what I openly admit is obviously not real magic, then the same must be said of St. John Bosco, who was a professional-grade stage magician who used his magic tricks to teach the catechism… just like I do.

Christ is Sufficient

 I recall a Benedictine novice of my acquaintance who argued with me―and his superiors―that Christianity is “fine as a starting point but it must be augmented with modern social work theory.” Nothing I or his superiors could say would convince him otherwise, and that’s why he is no longer a Benedictine.

 Make no bones about it―Christ is sufficient for all of our needs. We have no need for an additional savior/practice/theory to “guide” us into a utopia of human making because secular idols have eyes but they cannot see (Deuteronomy 4:28, Daniel 5:23, Psalm 115:5, Psalm 135:16, Revelation 9:20). And, indeed, any talk of utopia on Earth should make all thinking people very nervous. One would think that the abject and consistent failure of secularism since the Reign of Terror would have taught secularists a hard lesson and yet, here we are.

 Christianity and magic do not need each other. They are diametrically opposed. Choose one or the other. But, choose wisely.

 Angelo Stagnaro (“Erasmus”) performs as a stage magician and mentalist and divides his time between Europe and North America. He is the editor of “Smoke & Mirrors,” the Net’s largest e-zine for professional magicians. He’s also the Guildmaster of the Catholic Magicians’ Guild and a professed member of the Secular Franciscans (Third Order Franciscans)

Angelo has published articles in most of the major Catholic journals in the United States and Great Britain and had worked as a correspondent for the Catholic News Service having served as principle liaison for the wire service to the United Nations and to the Holy See’s Office to the United Nations.

Angelo has authored six books on mentalism/cold reading including Conspiracy, Something from Nothing, The Other Side, Shibboleth and his upcoming Spur of the Moment. This series has been translated into four languages and is considered seminal in the art of mentalism. He is also one of the world’s experts in cold reading. In addition, he’s written an instructional book for catechists which uses stage magic as a teaching tool for children and young adults entitled The Catechist’s Magic Kit. (Crossroad) His other books include How to Pray the Dominican Way (Paraclete) and The Christian Book of the Dead. (Crossroad) His most recent book was released through Tau Publishing and is entitled A Lenten Cookbook for Catholics.

All of his theology books have received imprimaturs and nihil obstat from Bishop Nicholas DeMarzio of Brooklyn.

Angelo has traveled extensively and has worked, studied, performed and/or traveled in 70 countries.