An Often Forgotten Sacramental

'The wedding ring is given as a sacramental—that is, to “dispose [one] to receive the chief effect of the sacrament"'. Treat it as it deserves to be treated.

From Crisis

By John M. Grondelski, PhD

The wedding rings of a bride and groom are always a centerpiece of the ceremony and seen as a symbol of the marital bond. But for Catholics, it is much more than that.

June used to be associated with weddings. Marriage is suffering its share of problems. People find all sorts of ersatz substitutes for it; and, if they marry at all, it’s usually later than it’s ever been.  

For Catholics, marriage is a sacrament. That means it is more than a civil ceremony, more than “a license for our love,” more than a social convention. It is a statement of faith that this life has a meaning in relationship to God and eternity (even if marriage ends at death).

And if marriage is a sacrament, let’s not forget its sacramental: the wedding ring.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that sacramentals 

are sacred signs which bear a resemblance to the sacraments. They signify effects, particularly of a spiritual nature, which are obtained through the intercession of the Church. By them men are disposed to receive the chief effect of the sacraments, and various occasions in life are rendered holy. (1667)

Sacramentals remind us of our pilgrim journey toward salvation, of the sacraments, and of the importance of sanctifying all occasions of life.  

Although the essential form of the sacrament of matrimony is the exchange of consent to be married, the wedding ring has been an element of the marriage liturgy for a long time. But it’s not just any ring. It’s not just jewelry. It’s not just a token of a dowry.

It is a sacramental.

The Catholic wedding ring is blessed. Indeed, it is blessed immediately after the spouses’ exchange of consent—i.e., the first thing that happens after they are actually married. That blessing sets it apart from the rest of your jewelry collection. By blessing the ring, it stands apart just as marriage stands apart: it is not just a thing of this world but part of the salvific order.  

The wedding ring is blessed to be a sign of fidelity and love, an expression of those elements of marriage to the other. It is given as a sacramental—that is, to “dispose [one] to receive the chief effect of the sacrament,” in this case, fidelity, and to render holy the marital state. It is handed over in the name of the Trinity—the Triune God—whose communion of persons this marriage is called to model. 

It used to be the tradition that people wore their wedding rings until they died. In some ethnic groups, the hand on which one wears the wedding ring is indicative of whether one is married or widowed.  

The ring’s presence may become quotidian, commonplace, perhaps even forgotten. But just as the sacraments themselves are visible signs of God’s invisible grace, sacramentals like the wedding ring are visible signs of the sacrament we have received. Its presence is supposed to be a tangible reminder of something we might forget about, something perhaps taken for granted: marriage. That is why it is normally some kind of precious metal: it is valuable, and it should last. Like marriage.

It is a sign to its bearer, both positive (reminding one of the truth of marriage) and negative (reminding one of the obligations of marriage, especially fidelity). But the wedding ring is also a sign to others, an increasingly vital sign in our day—of commitment; of exclusivity; of the value of marriage itself.

Just as priests should wear the Roman collar so that the world may know who they are, just as nuns should wear a habit so that the world may know their consecration, so the married should wear wedding rings so that the world may know who they are.

It’s telling that, when he wrote a play about marriage, the future Pope St. John Paul II titled it The Jeweler’s Shop and centers much of the characters’ reflections about what marriage is in the context of wedding rings—one couple buying them, one spouse trying to sell hers. A narrator’s voice captures that significance in this line: “This is the jeweler’s shop. What a strange craft to produce objects that can stimulate reflection on fate…” 

It’s also telling that the Church has traditionally associated the sacrament of marriage with the sacramental of the wedding ring. That’s not by accident. The Catholic teaching that marriage is a sacrament is itself a sign of contradiction to the world, even to many fellow Christians (Protestants). Marriage is not just a change in civil status, an “estate.” It is a spiritual step, with characteristics that belong to that sacrament independent of the spouses: unity, exclusivity, indissolubility, communion, fruitfulness. And that is why the wedding ring gives that truth visibility.  

It’s why, for example, the Puritans objected to wedding rings. It wasn’t primarily about “graven images” or undue bodily adornment. The Puritans recognized the wedding ring as a sacramental that pointed to matrimony as sacrament; and, as they rejected most sacraments, they also rejected the signs pointing to them. So, then as well as now, let’s let the wedding ring be the sacramental that points to the then-and-now underappreciated sacrament of matrimony.