Rip Down the Pride Flag

"The people within the Catholic Church who think they are friends and allies to people who experience same-sex attraction and sexual identity confusion are often the enemy."

From Crisis

By Garrett D. Johnson

Twenty years ago few could have imagined that the last stronghold of truth, the Catholic Church, would have fallen to the LGBT lie of "Love is Love."

Many years ago, I decided to attend daily Mass at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C. Each morning on my way to Mass, I would drive past a house that flew the flag representing pride in all the different sexual identities that fell under the LGBTQ (this was pre-IA+ times) banner. I didn’t take much notice of it at the time, as these flags were all over the city. But, one day, I noticed the flag was becoming tattered, and I surprisingly felt a sense of joy. 

As time went on, the flag became increasingly tattered until it was barely recognizable. One morning, I pulled over and took a photo of the tattered flag because it represented both my journey out of the false gay identity I’d adopted in my late teens and what I believed was part of the mission of my holy Catholic faith. At the time, I had no idea that I would soon see these flags in front of and inside Catholic churches. 

A few days ago, an unidentified man ripped down a pride flag that was hanging in front of a Catholic Church in the Diocese of Syracuse. Though I don’t know the man or his motivations, it was, in my estimation, an act of bravery. Bishop Lucia responded to the act by saying, “I have learned of the unfortunate incident regarding the Pride flag. It certainly does not reflect the love and compassion that this month, dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, wishes to promote.” Love and compassion are words often misunderstood and sometimes weaponized in our Church to keep people from speaking the truth. They lead good-hearted people, like Bishop Lucia, to do the opposite of what they think they are doing. 

In 2023 and 2024, I attended Masses during Pride month in the archdiocese of Baltimore to celebrate LGBTQIA+ people and their allies. They were disturbing events to be a part of, to say the least. At those Masses, the words love, compassion, ally, and friend were misused by those celebrating the Masses and those in attendance. I believe, based on this statement from the good bishop, that he considers himself to be a loving, compassionate friend and ally to us who experience same-sex attraction and sexual identity confusion. The men and women who see themselves as friends and allies to my brothers and sisters who march under the gay flag need to understand what a true friend and ally is. 

In our culture, the meanings of these two words have become indistinguishable. However, they have distinct meanings. An ally is someone who helps you achieve a goal, serving as a facilitator but not necessarily a friend—although there can be an overlap. An ally enables another to do what they want to do and, by doing so, agrees with what they are doing and says it is good—an implied moral judgment. A friend, as defined by Aristotle, helps you live a more virtuous life and grow in the goodness of your humanity. 

The Church’s definition encompasses the idea that friendship is “a reflection of God’s love” and that “friends encourage each other in virtue and help each other grow closer to God.” The Church defines love as “to will the good of another.” What is good for humanity and what is not good is determined by the Church and assented to by us who call ourselves Catholics. These are not definitions being used by those who call themselves allies and friends to the LGBTQ+ community within the Church. 

Many who say they are allies of the LGBTQ+ community are implying they are friends, but these are not the same. Those who say they are allies to those under the gay flag are indeed only that. They are people who believe that feelings define what is right and wrong in a worldly sense as well as good and evil in a Christian understanding. They think it is beneficial for these individuals to act on their feelings and promote those actions to others as good. They are not friends, as defined by Aristotle and the Catholic Church. 

When I was growing up, there was a phrase used to denote a friendship that encompassed this misunderstanding of the words “ally” and “friend.” “I have your back” meant you would stand up for someone if they were being bullied or mistreated—a good thing—but also that you would lie and deny the truth for them if they were in trouble—an evil thing. The distortion of what it means to love someone or support them is not based on doing what is good for the person or group but rather doing what those we are allied with want us to do. In other words, it is to affirm them in whatever they do, no matter the damage to the individual, the community, society, or the Church.  

Is China the United States’ friend? How about Saudi Arabia? They may be allies, sharing some common interests in certain areas, but they certainly do not love our country, have compassion for our people or way of life, and want what is best for us. They want what is best for themselves; and if that helps us at the same time, great. But they will never stick their necks out to defend us. And, if given the opportunity, they would join against us. So, they can call us allies, but that doesn’t make them friends. The same can be said about those in the Church who claim to be allies of LGBTQ+ people.

I am an ally and friend to many people, although it may often feel as though I am an enemy. If I see a friend doing something I think is unhealthy for them, I let them know. Don’t go out to dinner with that person who is a temptation to sin. Don’t dress in a manner that makes you a near occasion of sin for others. Your desires do not define you. What you feel is not always true. These are the statements of a true friend and ally—someone willing to stick their neck out to support you, even when you don’t like what they have to say. 

The people within the Catholic Church who think they are friends and allies to people who experience same-sex attraction and sexual identity confusion are often the enemy. They reinforce or suggest false identities to people I do not doubt they love; but the way they show their love is distorted and encourages a disordered, self-focused life. In their desire to be compassionate and merciful, they aid the enemy of all that is good—the enemy for whom the pride flag is a banner—in separating their loved one from the truth of their identity that is necessary for divination in this life and eternity with Christ in the next. 

So, the man who ripped this flag down is a true friend and ally to both the Church and the people who have been deceived into believing that their attractions and feelings are their identity. The bishops and priests who celebrate gay Masses and fly pride flags inside and outside Catholic churches are not true friends and allies. Their love and compassion are false. It is the mission of those of us who have been freed from these false identities to correct those in positions of power and leadership when they spread untruths unknowingly. 

So, while I do not encourage people to tear down flags or engage in other acts that may be construed as vandalism or “hate crimes,” I do sympathize with the man who recently did so in Syracuse. I would love nothing more than to see all pride flags deteriorate away, just as the one that I used to see on my way to Mass did. The best way to make this happen is through prayer, sacrifice, and boldly speaking the truth to those in power—as well as to friends and family—whenever possible. This is how we, as Catholics, live as true friends and allies and show love and compassion to our bishops, our priests, and our brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ+ community.