Bishop Challoner's Meditations ~ June 7th (Transferred From February 14th)

ON DEATH-BED PERFORMANCES

Consider first, that if it be so great an evil to defer, for any considerable time, one's conversion to God, and one's reconciliation with him, it must be an evil incomparably greater to form a premeditated design of putting it off to the end of our lives, upon the confidence of a death-bed repentance, because the risk, the presumption, the madness, the outrages offered to God in this case are incomparably greater; so that it is well, if one in a thousand of them that are guilty of such formal designs of putting a cheat upon the divine justice (by indulging themselves in sin all their lifetime, and then only thinking to make their peace with God when they can sin no longer), ever meet with even the poor chance of a death-bed confession, much less with the grace of an effectual conversion. Oh, no; such sinners will find to their loss that 'God is not to be mocked,' Gal. vi. 7. the general rule is, that 'what a man soweth the same shall he reap,' and that as a man lives so shall he die, A rule so general, that in the whole Scripture we have but one instance of a happy death after a wicked life, viz., that of the good thief; an example so singular in all its circumstances as to afford no kind of encouragement to such sinners as design beforehand to give the slip to God's justice by a death-bed conversion.

Consider 2ndly, how very little it is that the sinner is capable of doing on his death-bed towards his conversion; when either the dulness and stupidity caused by his sickness, or by the quality of the medicines or the pains and agonies which he endures in body or in mind, render him quite unfit for prayer, and incapable of attention to reading, or of any serious application of his thoughts to the great business of the soul. Alas! if a little headache, or any other slight indisposition, be enough to hinder us at any time from making any serious meditation, or praying with devotion, how much less shall we be able to attend to prayer, or to do any thing else to the purpose, when we shall be surprised with a mortal illness, and with the pangs of death? O Christians, let not yourselves, then, be imposed upon with vain imaginations of the fine arts of contrition and of the love of God, that you will make upon your death-bed; they will all fly away from you then; 'tis well if you shall then be capable even of one good thought. Thousands that have flattered themselves with the thoughts of doing fine things upon their death-bed have been prevented by sudden death; thousands have been deprived of their senses before they apprehended their danger; thousands have been flattered by those about them into a conceit that they were not dying, when they really were; and what is the most common of all, thousands, in punishment of their forgetting God in their lifetime, have been suffered to forget themselves in death; and thus, generally speaking, these fine projects of death-bed performances turn to smoke, and end in hell.

Consider 3rdly, that the conversion of an habitual sinner is at any time a very difficult task, and required a strong grace, such as may reach, and change the heart, and effectually turn it from the affection of sin to the love of God; so as to make it hate, above all evils, what has been for a long time turned into a second nature by the force of an evil habit; and to love and embrace with the whole soul what has hitherto been loathed or despised. But if this task be very difficult at all times, and seldom brought to effect without long and serious meditations and much prayer, what a poor chance must there be for such sinners as have on set purpose put off this work to the time in which they are neither capable of meditation nor prayer, and which is worst of all, when in punishment of their obstinate impenitence and insupportable presumption, God has withdrawn himself from them? Alas! poor sinner, thou flatteredst thyself in thy sins that it would be easy for thee at any time (how late soever,) to make thy peace with God, and to escape hell, because thou hadst heard, that in whatsoever hour the sinner shall turn to God he will show him mercy; but then the devil hid from thy eyes that this effectual turning to God, especially upon a death-bed, must be the fruit of an extraordinary grace of God, which he has promised to no man; yea, a very great miracle of grace, which he is seldom disposed to work in favour of such presumptuous wretches as have made a practice all their lifetime of mocking him. 

Conclude to have no dependence upon the death-bed performance of habitual sinners, no, not even though, like Antiochus, they should shed tears plentifully; these are often influenced by the fear of death, more than the love of God. Take thou care of one at least, by living always for thy own part, as thou desirest to die; and exhort all that belong to thee, to secure their souls by this same method; 'tis the only safe way.