Becoming a Thanks-Giving, Thanks-Doing, Thanks-Saying People

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers! Father Mercer has some ideas on how to become a truly thankful people as a society.

From Aleteia

By Fr Dave Mercer

With 7 tips for writing a thank you note ... and an inspiring idea from a fellow priest that I started early in my own ministry.

In all circumstances give thanks,
for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.
[1 Thessalonians 5:18]

When I started in priestly ministry, I heard of another priest who kept a stack of notecards, and would end each day by writing a simple thank you or a greeting to anyone who touched his life that day. I thought I should do something of the same.

Early on, I came to see that gratitude is more than good etiquette — it lies at the heart of the spiritual life. 

About a year into ministry, I had dinner with a family whose mom had impressed me half a year earlier. As in many family kitchens, their refrigerator memorialized events and family photos telling the story of their family. There, under a magnet, I saw a thank you card I had written to the mom those many months earlier.

I later spoke of that to a few priests, and Mateo said: “Dave, people never forget your small acts of kindness.”

Throughout my 38 years of priestly ministry, Mateo’s words have proved true many times over.

Affirming value

In today’s culture of text messages and emails, hand-written notes are not so common. However, to write and mail a note saying “thank you” or “I’m thinking of you” can affirm a person’s value in a surprising way.

For example, after Mass one Sunday, a parishioner approached and thanked me for the thank you note I sent to her teenage son, saying, “When Steve read your note, he said, ‘Nobody has ever mailed me a note before.’”

The Apostle Paul often began his letters to early Christians by expressing his gratitude for their faith, as he did to the Philippian community: “I give thanks to my God at every remembrance of you.” [1:3]

On the floor next to my easy chair, I keep a shoebox filled with notecards, their envelopes, postage stamps, and even a reminder of what makes for a well-written thank you. A few cards say thank you on the front, but I prefer cards that are blank, or say hello or thinking of you, which are still fine for writing a thank you note.

I prefer the inside of the card to be free of a printed message so as not to interfere with my personalized message. What I write is what people remember.

How-to

I offer you seven tips for writing a meaningful thank you based largely on the decades-old reminder in my shoe-box.

1WARM GREETING

Greet warmly the recipient of your note: “Dear Name.”

2CLEARLY STATE YOUR PURPOSE

In the first one or two sentences, state clearly what you are thanking them for. 

3NOTE HOW THEY OR THEIR GIFT AFFECTS YOU

Personalize the meaning of their gift: Briefly explain how you will use the gift or what makes their action special for you. You can refer to a detail or a shared memory that makes your note unique.

For example: “Thank you for the wonderful coffee mug. I used it this morning, and it made breakfast all the more special.” If money was the gift, you can mention how the money will be used, but avoid stating the exact amount which might seem as if you are keeping a tally. For example: “Your generosity is greatly appreciated and will help when we move into our new home.”

4AFFIRM THE RELATIONSHIP

Affirm the relationship: “I hope to see you at our next potluck.”

5CONCLUDE GRACEFULLY

Conclude gracefully in a manner that reflects your relationship, perhaps with “Regards,” “With love,” “Warmly,” “In Christ,” then sign your name.

6AVOID FURTHER TOPICS

Make your thank you the only message of your note. To bring up a different topic only weakens the validating power of a well-written thank you.

7STAY SHORT

Most thank you notes excel when they are brief, benefiting from the adage: “You can say more when you say less.”

More than manners

Again, expressing gratitude is more than good etiquette; it courses through our spiritual veins.

Catholics should be good at expressing such thankfulness. After all, we still call the way we worship on Sundays — that is, the Sacrament of the Altar — Eucharist, a Greek word used by early Christians meaning thanksgiving or to give thanks.

At Mass, we are always thanking God for what He did for us through Jesus Christ. Our prayers, hymns, actions, preaching, and even our silent moments are about expressing a sincere “thank you” to God and allowing the grace of gratitude to take us into our God-given mission throughout the week.

Indeed, gratitude is our most important Christian emotion.

I heard a speaker say, “We Catholics are a thanks-giving, thanks-doing, thanks-saying people. That’s the whole meaning of Eucharist.” 

I am convinced that we can be a thanks-writing people, too. Your hand-written thank you might be the grace someone most needs.

“Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.”
“It is right and just.”
[Eucharistic Prayer]