From Eccles is Saved
And there came unto the prophet Eccles a holy priest who asked the following question:
A real toughie!
So Eccles consulted a few friends, each of whom received Communion in a different way, and this is what they said:
Fay Risee, receiver in the hand.
I thank God that I am not like that wretched publican over there, who is kneeling down and hoping to receive on the tongue. My bishop really hates anything that smacks of "traditionalism", "believing in the Real Presence", "reverence", etc., and he has given instructions to all his priests that if they attempt to offer the sacrament on the tongue, they will be cast into the outer darkness, where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth. Or perhaps the SSPX. Who cares whether it is safer to receive on the tongue or in the hand? My bishop is the only God I believe in!
"Nervous" Odo, worshipper at St Daryl the Apostate's.
In ordinary times, Fr Phil would consecrate bread that he had bought from Tesco's on the way to Mass. Sometimes he couldn't get bread and used Eccles cakes! No way could they be delivered on the tongue. But now for safety reasons, we have individually packaged hosts in little envelopes, which we can take home and consume at our leisure. Or give them to friends!
Self service!
Telly Addict, watcher of livestream masses.
For me it is not an issue, as I no longer attend Church, but watch all my masses by livestream. Unless there is something better on. That Ed Stewpot with his semi-religious BBC show "Sunday" is very good, isn't he? Last week he had the Dalai Lama, George Soros, and the Chief Satanist all commenting on climate change. Anyway, when I do listen the priest encourages us to make a "spiritual communion" instead. Of course, I don't always manage to do this - last time, the man from Amazon rang the doorbell, delivering my copy of the best-selling Bumper Book of Bishop Barron Burbles - but it's the thought that counts, isn't it?
Chairman Ivereigh has spoken.
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