[Satire!] Eccles explains why the number of Jimmy Martin, LGBTQXYZSJ is '666'.
From Eccles is Saved
As Revelation 13:18 records:.
So we tried putting in various names such as FATHER (310), JAMES (156), MARTIN (390), LGBT (239), JESUIT (624), but nothing seemed to work. But then, Divine Inspiration! Fr James Martin actually has a middle initial, as is documented in several places, and it is J! (Nobody seems to know what it stands for, but my guess is Judas.)
Here is wisdom. He that hath understanding, let him count the number of the beast. For it is the number of a man: and the number of him is six hundred sixty-six.
Many attempts have been made to identify the beast. Could St John have meant Nero? Or was it a prediction of Napoleon? Or Hitler? Now, at last I have found the answer
Eccles's assistant help with the hard sums
One of the standard codings of the alphabet is the following:
A=1, B=2, C=3, ..., I=9, J=10, K=20, L=30, ..., R=90, S=100, T=200, U=300, ..., Z=800
Thus we have:
JAMES J MARTIN SJ = 156 + 10 + 390 + 110 = 666.
Well, who else could it be? When the man isn't promoting his "Mary Magdalene was the Church" heresy, or attacking traditional worship, he decides to get people talking about him by tweeting stuff like this:
About homosexuality (inevitably).
Heretical views (inevitably)
I suspect that James J. Martin SJ has known about the apocalyptic interpretation of his name for some time - why else would he stop using the second initial?
So where do we go from there? Do we get an interview, with, say Steve Colbert?
Colbert: Jim, I understand that, in addition to being a best-selling author, fashion expert, and part-time priest, you are also the Beast of the Apocalypse?
Martin: Heh heh heh, yes, that's right. From now on I'm going to put "BOTA" as well as "SJ" and "LGBT" after my name when I sell myself for speeches, fashion shows, gay pride marches etc.
Colbert: Jim, you're the sort of Catholic I can really go with!
Apparently he's very fond of country music too.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments are subject to deletion if they are not germane. I have no problem with a bit of colourful language, but blasphemy or depraved profanity will not be allowed. Attacks on the Catholic Faith will not be tolerated. Comments will be deleted that are republican (Yanks! Note the lower case 'r'!), attacks on the legitimacy of Pope Francis as the Vicar of Christ (I know he's a material heretic and a Protector of Perverts, and I definitely want him gone yesterday! However, he is Pope, and I pray for him every day.), the legitimacy of the House of Windsor or of the claims of the Elder Line of the House of France, or attacks on the legitimacy of any of the currently ruling Houses of Europe.